6th October, 2017
For as long as I can remember, it’s been trying to steal my joy.
When I was 20 and Andrew and I had just become engaged, it stole my joy.
When we were planning our wedding, it stole my joy then too.
When we were building our first home. When I was pregnant with Lily and again when I was pregnant with Spencer. Continually stealing my joy.
Now more than ever, with so much happening at the moment in our lives, it is stealing my joy. In the still of the night when all is dark and quiet and it’s just me and my thoughts – stealing. my. joy.
We are a matter of weeks away from our adventure of a life time and I just can’t help but shake this feeling. Anxiety.
WWJS. Worlds Worst Joy Stealer.
Whenever something wonderful is about to happen, my mind goes to worst case and it’s as though I am always waiting for things to go wrong and for all plans to come crashing down. Unravelling at the seams.
Sometimes I want to shake myself silly. What is wrong with me?!!
I’ve always known anxiety has had me in its grips – but it’s never been something that has controlled my life. Never has it affected my day or stopped me from doing anything.
I just feel it more than ever right now, and I don’t like it!
At the moment, I am over thinking every little thing. If the kids are sore or hurt – I panic. If I have an ache, or if I spot a freckle that I’ve never noticed before – I panic.
I worry when Andrew leaves for work each day. I just want us to all be perfectly healthy and ready to board that plane in a few weeks time.
One thing that I have recently discovered is essential oils and I’ll tell you something for nothing – they are seriously the shiz nit!!!
A lovely friend gifted me some doTERRA oils, and at the moment, they’re working wonders. I don’t actually know if I am using them correctly, but like many a thing in life – mind over matter, and I’m using them day and night.
Maybe it’s simply the fact that we’re diving deep into the unknown. Totally out of our comfort zone. I’m really not sure. But I know it’s utterly draining.
I am hopeful that everything will come together and that it will all just be as it is meant to be…(pulling my positive pants up!!)
I would love to hear from you if you have any tips or pointers for this old girl who is struggling a little at the moment.
As always, big love.