January 17th, 2017
For the past couple of months, I have been in a bit of a lull. I put it down to a busy year coming to a close and the mad Christmas rush taking over. I assumed that once the silly season was done and dusted, I’d feel a lift, but it’s still there.
That little niggling feeling. Something has me unsettled.
After our Thailand trip in October, I was looking forward to coming home and finishing up some big work projects, winding down with Andrew and the kids, and reining in the new year.
However, upon our return, I felt a huge shift. I don’t know what or why, but it was there.
I bought this book about a year ago. I didn’t even open it for 3 months. It sat on my bedside and each night I would be too weary to open it and begin.
We went away in May and I packed it with me. I began reading it on the plane and couldn’t put it down.
Today, I picked it up again. We were heading to the local pool and I grabbed it last minute to take with me. Whilst the kids frolicked in the water and rode the water slide over and over, I started to read it again. Reading over all of the notes that I had scribbled in the spine the first time around and checking the pages I had dog-eared.
This book gets me. It speaks to my heart. It kind of rattles me, but in a good way.
It makes me think, like – really, really think.
I am one of those people who always wants more. I’m such a dreamer and I am forever thinking about what is next. It’s not that I am not content with the here and now, more that I am just so aware of this huge, beautiful, wild world and I want it all. Every. Single. Bit.
This feeling I have at the moment, maybe it’s just a bad case of anxiety.
The best way for me to describe it is as if I am in a constant panic that time is running out. The kids are growing up before my eyes, I’ve just turned 34 and I still don’t truly know what I want to do with the rest of my life.
This book talks about finding your calling. Answering the ache inside you.
Some of my nearest and dearest would say that I have found my calling, that I am doing it weekly (my day job)…but what the book also mentions is that your career doesn’t have to be your calling and vice versa. That one can have, discover and do both.
Am I the only one who feels this way? (Please tell me I am not going mad)
I had a great chat with my best friend on Sunday. We spent the day together at So Frenchy, So Chic. A couple of bottles of French champagne later and the tears started to flow. She listened, and then it was my turn to listen to her. We talked some more and then hit the stage and danced our worries away.
It’s amazing what a good cry can do sometimes. That, and a day with my bestie. Best medicine.
I am really enjoying the holidays with the kids, but I am also looking forward to school starting back and establishing a routine again.
Cooking proper meals, eating better and getting some more sleep. Surely that has to help my funk!
Tell me something, are you searching for your calling?
Are you letting your light shine bright?
I’ll quit my waffle now and leave you with one of my favourite quotes from the book:
“There is no greater gift you can receive than to honour your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” –Oprah Winfrey (She’s just so darn wise!!)