Little old me…

23rd August 2016

It’s about this time each year that I get all deep and reflective.
Most probably a mixture of my yearning for Spring (…Winter has been long and cold this year…) and also the fact that it will be my birthday next month.
Another year passed. A little wiser. A few more wrinkles on this old mug.

Let’s rewind a few years to 2012.

I was turning 30 and struggling big time, (ridiculous now when I think about it…) but I was totally down in the dumps about leaving my glorious twenties behind.
A decade that for me, was the best yet!
All the big milestones: engagement, wedding, babies, houses….and I really wasn’t quite sure my 30’s could stand up in comparison. I didn’t think there was much left..apart from day-to-day life and all that comes with it.
I’d been a wife and Mum for so long and still didn’t really know “what I wanted to be when I grew up”.
Lily was in Prep and Spencer was enjoying the year at home with me. He was due to start 4 year old kinder the following year and I absolutely adored the time we spent together. Life was so simple and seemed to go by a little slower.

At the time, those of my friends who had already hit the big 3-0 were telling me how great it is.
That “30 is the new black”… “Life begins at 30″…blah, blah, blah…
I wasn’t convinced.
But now….almost 4 years on. I see that they were onto something.

It sounds totally wanky, but since entering my 30’s, my whole view on life has changed.
I know myself more than ever and I actually really like the person I am.
I didn’t think I would ever be able to say that and truly believe it, but I do.

I used to spend so much time worrying about what people thought of me. Always trying to impress and pushing myself beyond my limits to please others.
Working myself up into a little ball of anxiety…
The fact is – we’re not always going to get along with everyone we meet. We’re not always going to be everyone’s cup of tea – and that is okay. Totally okay.

I have realised that quality is so much better than quantity.
I can count my best friends on one hand. I always have.
I know that it’s okay to say ‘no’ sometimes. To realise when I’ve reached my limits and reduce added stress.
I know it’s okay to be wrong. To admit defeat. To apologise and move on.
I know that sometimes relationships can become toxic and knowing when to walk away is actually a success within itself.
I know that it’s okay to be selfish. To do something for me, and only me. To put myself first (sometimes).
I know I am a spiritual soul. I need faith in my life. To believe, and to know there is a power greater than me.
I know that it is okay to not always have every little thing worked out and to just let go, and wing it from time to time…
I know that meditation does me the world of good and needs to be a daily priority.
I know that I can’t drink as much wine as I used to, and that chocolate isn’t always the answer…(just most of the time…)
I know that it’s okay to NOT be okay. And to ask for help.
I also now know that the kids won’t die if they don’t have vegetables with their dinner 7 nights a week, or eat white bread now and then…!
I know that on my day off, it is perfectly acceptable to drop the kids to school in my dressing gown…

I know that so far – this 30’s caper is pretty bloody great and if the past few years are anything to go by – then the rest of the decade is going to be one hell of a ride!

After all – “when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing!”

Thanks for listening to my waffle yet again. As always, I love to hear from you, so please drop me a quick line if you so please. I love a chat!

Leaving you with one of my favourite quotes.
My dear old Dad read this to me on my wedding day.

Big love,
-Cx

Life.jpeg

 

 

20 thoughts on “Little old me…

  1. Hilary

    Loved this!! My fave post yet.. you have achieved so much and you really do blow me away and you’re my biggest inspiration! Always have been. Your 30’s have been amazing so much.. and you just keep getting better! To the next 30.. you beautiful thing, you!

    Sheesh.. I’m almost at that 30 mark myself.. not such a baby sister anymore eh? 😉

    So proud of you and loved snuggling up under the doona to read your 3rd instalment.

    Much love.. always.. to the moon xoxox

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Kim verhaar

    I remember sharing the same trepidation about turning 30! I had lost a lot of weight at the time and was looking great on the outside but on the inside I was a mess! Not many people know that on the night of my party I had to be coaxed out of my bedroom because I just didn’t want to face everyone.
    I must say that I got over it and realised that thirty was the year of really growing up and becoming wiser and as each decade passes, even more so.
    I am enjoying reading about your life through your eyes by the way. It is very enlightening xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kylie Jane

    You are absolutely killing this my gorgeous friend. Life is truly amazing if we just stop a second to look around and take it all in. We are blessed in so many ways with good health, family and friends a little but of travel, with a touch of wine and chocolate on the side!
    If only I had found this in my 30’s rather than my 40’s, eek!
    Can’t wait to see what the next instalment has and love that quote xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Cristina

    I turned 30 earlier this year, and I love it! I was nod, nod, nodding to all your points above!!
    I feel the most comfortable with myself that I ever had, and just happy with life in general 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Martha Hudson

    30’s were awesome, 40’s are pretty fab too-kids are older so you have more “freedom” to do things whether it be as a family or on your own. You have lots to look forward to!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bianca

    This piece resonates with me so much. I actually turned 40 on the 23rd August! I have been battling the same feelings you did about your 20’s as I had about my 30’s. So many wonderful things happened and it felt like I was coming to the end of one life but starting a new one. My youngest started prep this year so I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on who I am again. I’m excited about my 40s (even though it sounds so old!) as it has already opened up a world of opportunities and possibilities that feels like until now I’ve been too preoccupied or scared to take the plunge into.
    Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone in my feelings and for opening up with yours x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lottie

    I’m 26 and as much as i have loved my 20s so far I’m excited for my 30’s. I have 3 kiddies and I feel like I have lost apart of myself, so I’m very much looking forward to being able to have some “me time” and being able to find myself again.

    Liked by 1 person

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