10th November, 2016

As a girl, I always dreamt of one day becoming a Mother.
A wife too, (and a Marine Biologist!!) – but mainly a Mum.
So naturally when I fell pregnant at 23, after being married for just over a year – I was over the moon. Throughout the pregnancy had a strong feeling I was having a girl, but together, Andrew and I had decided that we didn’t want to find out the sex of our baby, that we’d leave it as one of life’s beautiful surprises.

Mysteriously, at 31 weeks and after an easy, breezy pregnancy, I went into labour early.
I was hospitalised and medicated to put a stop to the contractions in order to keep our baby inside, happy, healthy and growing for a little longer.
Just over a fortnight later, Lily was born at 33 weeks and 5 days, with the birthing suite full of Doctors and medical staff – all precaution taken for this little impatient premmie.
A little girl.
Andrew cut the cord and she was placed on my chest for a few short seconds. Our first family photo quickly captured then she was whisked off to the special care nursery where she was given the once over. No oxygen required, thank goodness.
Our Lily Jane – pure magic and perfect in every way.

A few days later I was discharged from hospital, but Lil wasn’t quite ready to come home yet.
Andrew had to go away for business (brilliant timing), so I was home alone – hormones raging…
I remember sobbing my heart out to my Dad one night over the phone. Just longing to have my little family all together and in our home.

For the next 2 weeks, I spent 12 hours a day in the hospital.
Expressing my milk so Lil had enough to get her through the night. She was feeding via a nasogastric tube, and in order for her to come home – she had to come off the tube, and together – we had to master the art of breast feeding.
She was a super star!!
I remember getting so excited each morning when checking her health chart to find she had gained a few grams over night – only to lose it all again (and more) the next night. This went on for days.
Finally, she was steadily gaining a little weight each day and was able to come home with us on the 9th of December. I’ll never forget that date. What a day it was.

Quickly Lily grew and was feeding like a trooper. A happy little Miss she was. We had so much fun together. So many adventures. We played together. We napped together. We grew up together. She was pure joy.

I can’t quite believe that in 2 weeks, our baby girl will turn 10.
TEN!!!
When did that actually happen? Crazzzzy!

I tell you what though, I wish there was a guide-book on this parenting gig. (Parenting for dummies perhaps…) Sometimes the struggle is real!
I am constantly trying to get it right.
To say the right thing.
To not say anything when the moment calls for it.
To give the best advice. The right advice.
To teach her to always be a good person, and kill everyone with kindness.
To be resilient.
To be brave.
To stand up for what she believes in.
To know her worth.
To know that she can do or become whatever she wishes.
To work hard.
To play fair.
To listen.
To learn.
To be honest at all times.
To love hard.
To dream big.

I just hope that I am doing enough. Saying enough. Teaching enough. Guiding enough.
(A crystal ball would be darn handy right now!)

Parenting. The hardest, yet most rewarding job in the world. So true.

Big love,
C x